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雅思G类大作文:穿时尚衣服的人增加?利弊分析

2021-04-08 环球教育

  题目:The number of people who are interested in and wearing fashionable clothes is increasing. Is this a positive or negative development?


  审题:“是好是坏”类写作任务,观点可以是“好”,也可以是“坏”,还可以是“有好有坏”。本题话题是“时尚”,相关ideas包括个人形象、经济、文化等角度。题中表述有increasing,在论述过程要注意使用对比/比较。


  范文:(254 words)

  More and more people today are interested in and have the disposable income to take greater care with their fashion choices.In my opinion,though many fashion companies exploit their workers,this is a positive development overall.

  译文:现在越来越多人关心时尚并且也有钱买时装。我认为,虽然时尚企业剥削工人,但这总体上是个积极发展。


  好在哪里:这个开头段恰当地改写了题目,并明确地给出了个人观点,语言准确,扣题充分。改述包括:more and more...take greater care with=the number of people...is increasing,fashion choices=wearing fashionable clothes.用比较级扣住了题目。


  Those who criticise the fashion industry often point out its treatment of workers.The most famous fashion brands like Louis Vuitton and Chanel(as well as footwear makers such as Nike and Adidas)outsource their labour at reduced costs to East Asia.Workers in their factories make subsistence wages and are notoriously mistreated,while the countries in question often have lax child labour laws as well.Exploitive fashion companies then massively inflate prices for their products.Their actions cannot be controlled directly by consumers but nonetheless undermine every innocent transaction at a shopping mall.

  译文:时尚行业的批评者指出,该行业的工人待遇很差。路易威登和香奈儿等最著名时装品牌(以及耐克和阿迪达斯等鞋类制造商)以较低的成本将劳务外包给东亚地区。这些工厂的工人的工资只够维持生活,待遇是出名的差,而有关国家的童工法也过于宽松。这些剥削人的时装公司的产品定价还特别高。这些行为是消费者无法直接控制的,却让购物中心的每笔交易都不那么“纯洁”。


  好在哪里:主体段1回应开头段观点句的前半部分。经常看组长范文分析的G友应该已经发现,写好开头段观点句,就奠定了全文的段落框架,从而提升整篇作文的结构逻辑表现,所以,一定要多花时间在个人观点/立场构思上,想清楚才能写清楚。就观点来说,这段的idea可能很多G友不熟悉,实际上是fashion话题常用的,类似表述:

  -Garment workers,primarily women,in Bangladesh make about$96 per month.The government’s wage board suggested that a garment worker needs 3.5 times that amount in order to live a“decent life with basic facilities.”

  -A 2018 U.S.Department of Labor report found evidence of forced and child labor in the fashion industry in Argentina,Bangladesh,Brazil,China,India,Indonesia,Philippines,Turkey,Vietnam and other countries.

  Rapid consumption of apparel and the need to deliver on short fashion cycles stresses production resources,often resulting in supply chains that put profits ahead of human welfare.


  Regardless,fashion is an important aesthetic choice for ordinary people.The exploitation of workers ought to be regulated by governments and corporations,not consumers.Those who buy fashionable clothes are trying to express themselves through their attire and the end result of a more fashion-conscious public is greater beauty for onlookers.No one would question the importance of beautiful buildings and public works of art but fashion is arguably more noticeable.Fashion gives not only individuals but also towns,cities,and nations a distinctive flair,without which the world would be blander and less beautiful.

  译文:不过,时尚是普通百姓重要的审美选择。对工人的剥削应由政府和公司而不是消费者来监管。那些购买时髦服装的人试图用穿着来表达自己,更具时尚意识的公众会给他人带来更多美的感受。没有人会质疑美丽的建筑和公共艺术品的重要性,但是个人的时尚更引人注目。时尚不仅赋予个人,也赋予城镇、城市和国家一种特殊的气质,没有时尚的世界将变得无聊且不美。


  好在哪里:主体段2回应开头段观点句的后半部分,从审美与社会的角度论述追求时尚的积极影响。使用大量非常用词。语法方面使用了被动语态、各种从句、比较级等。


  In conclusion,the beauty fashion engenders outweighs any ethical considerations.Governments ought to properly regulate labour so that their citizens can shop and flaunt with a clear conscience.

  译文:总之,时尚创造的美胜过任何道德考量。政府应该适当规范用工行为,以使他们的公民可以放心购物。


  好在哪里:改述重申观点和全文。


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