雅思6分作文范文的分享

　　大家是否想要了解你为何不可以拿到雅思大作文大分吗?雅思写作6分要怎么才能得到?关键还是要多看一些6分范文，下面老师为大家分析了雅思6分作文范文解析。

　　雅思6分作文范文解析：

　　Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged.Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

　　Nowadays,purpose of education being changed in Korea.There are some people who think that competition in children should be made,also others believe that children who are taught to co-operate as well as become more useful adults.There are advantages and disadvantages for both of the arguments.

　　To begin with,what is good if a sense of competition in children is made?They could develop themselves more and more as they learn and study a lot to win from the competition.To prove this,in Korea,it is popular-even common now-to have a tutor who come to student’s house to teach extra pieces of study with paying a lot of money.They learn faster than what they learn at school.Furthermore,during the vocations,students study abroad to learn English for a month instead of revise school work.If they have experiments such as study abroad,it is one of the greatest plus point to go to the famous well-known high school.Moreover,there are four big school exam and two national examinations to test students’level of studies.Generally,only the highest 40%can go to the good quality highschools and colleges children learn as much as they can,to win the competition to obtain good quality schools.

　　On the other hand,as they are busy to enter the schools and study individually with their own tutors,there are problems.They become selfish.They become careless and don’t help others a lot if it is about studies.There will be no co-operations for them.Then,why are there companies for many people to work in?each of them are clever,however,there are weak parts and strong parts for each person.To co-operate is to improve this part.People talk and listen to what others thinking of and learn.That could also be a great opportunity to learn instead of learning alone with one teacher.

　　In conclusion,I strongly agree with that children should be taught to co-operate rather than compete.Nobody is perfect.People learn together,work together to develop each other.therefore,I want parents and teachers to educate children concentrating on co-operation,not compete and ranking them.

　　问题分析：

　　从论证大主题的角度而言，此篇文章的收尾是co-operation更重要的成立的，但是这位考生在文字数量分配上却没有规划，分配给competition的文字明显多于给co-operation的，这样给了考官一个非常合情合理的借口扣分，实在是遗憾啊!

　　写作建议NO.5：If it is your preference,give it more reference.

　　若大家认同那个观点，那么便在这个观点上多写点吧。

　　若大家进一步看下Body段里的细节内容，事实上这位考生的语法功力以及逻辑论证能力比上面那位5分同学还有一定的距离，但是这篇文章将题目里的2个方面都提到，没有犯我的NO.3建议中的错误。除此之外，文字总量上这一篇文章称之为2篇都有明显的优势，所以再强调下数量真的也很重要。

　　以上介绍了雅思6分作文范文解析，希望文章里的这些信息考生们能认真的阅读。

　　环球教育秉持教育成就未来的理念，专注于为中国学子提供优质的出国语言培训及配套服务。环球教育在教学中采用“九步闭环法”，帮助学生快速提升学习效能，同时提供优质的课后服务，跟进学生学习进程，为优质教学提供坚强的保障。目前，环球教育北京学校已构建了包含雅思培训等语言培训、出国咨询、国际课程、游学考察、课程等在内的一站式服务教育生态圈。相关问题可免费咨询http://beijing.gedu.org，或拨打免费热线400-616-8800～

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