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In the contemporary society,the topic of environmental protection often hits the headlines. For this, there has already been a discussion regarding who should take responsibility of conserving environment well .
Some people hold the idea that just every person should and have the ability to approach the pollution of the environment.They think that if everyone reduces the pollution to the environment,the sum of the efforts of the whole population in the world is huge.Thus we all should make efforts to deal with the environmental pollution.
As a coin always has two sides, others argue that firms,
governments as well as people need to take part in the process of the protection.Since the capability and the sense of individuals are both limited,some organizations must become the foremost leader to handle with the issue.Undoubtedly,the government in every country is the best candidate,as a result of the subtle and inseparable connection with each other.What is more,with the development of the globalization,
multinational corporations are growing bigger and bigger. So companies gradually get a closer connection under the commercial need.Hence, governments and companies besides people should unify together to address the environmental issue.有一些短语写的没到点儿上--打的是擦边球嘛,意思写的云里雾里--还是希望你能多多看看积累素材---才能写的很明白--很native.
In my opinion, the latter point does make sense. Earth is the only common home to the human, and thereforethere is no time to delay to protect it. Thus,everyone has the responsibility and liability to deal with the pollution, and governments should lead companies and people to approach the issue.
点评:
【任务回应】6分标准中TR强调的是要扣题以及要论述的相对充分。你的扣题做到了,但论述的还是不够的。最重要的是人们有能力解决环境问题上你论述的方向不明确,甚至很模糊。我想--你是没有素材的积累---多背诵些素材--以至于等你碰到同类型的话题时候,有话说,并且能写到点儿上--以至于你能写的充分点儿。
【衔接和连贯】6分强调段段句句之间的连词和连接词,还有代词。例如:第一句和第二句之间加For this是不是更好?--这块儿问题下次能避免吧?原文中其余的句子之间的衔接也太生硬了超级不自然--让人感觉很糊涂。校正任务量太大,宝哥没给你改。其实这一项,也完全可以通过思路的积累,来保障衔接自然。
【词汇运用】词汇档次(uncommon)和表达地道性够用了---可以6分了。为了能够更好的又保障,宝哥希望你以后能够多多积累一些固定短语【动宾结构或者系表结构,这样才好保障用的很native----以为好老师应该会给学生按照话题分类给母题然后每个母题给你一些思路按照意识流的形式给你其中不乏很多动宾结构和系表结构的英文短语--多多背诵下来然后用到你的写作中,才能写的很NATIVE】
【语法范畴+精准度】6分的语法要求并不苛刻---大错误不要有12处,你看下你的错误There have真心没见过, There be可以。但你可以改成there has been. Discussion 后面的as regards不太常见,但是我们可以用regarding----这个属于非谓语动词做后置定语或者 on。Be responsible for最正规---当然也有正规的take responsibility of doing sth.;并且能有写简单句和复杂句的能力。其实复杂句你掌握4种从句就够了。
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------总结&建议-------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 多多按照话题积累思路&多多背诵地道动宾结构和系表结构 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 环境类重点话题思路解析+范文===6.5+范文赏析:
Some people think that individuals have the ability to address environmental pollution issues, while others think that besides people companies and governments also should participate in the course of environmental protection. Discuss both views and give your opinion.( 社会类—环境保护) ```` The opposite: individuals have the ability to address environmental pollution issues sub-point1: take public transportation like bus or subway rather than drive private cars-----reduce the emission of green-house gases like CO2 ---make contributions to the protection of environment. sub-point 2: call on family members and friends to plant trees and clean up parks---reduce the effects of existing pollutants on ecosystems-----protect environment well. Theme: companies and governments also should participate in the course of environmental protection. sub-point 1: (companies) participate in the course of environmental protection----- allocate sufficient money to those urgent fields and spend a lot on the development of environment-protection technologies-------protect and improve the environment better (这些通常都是个人和政府做不到的) sub-point 2: (governments)enact and implement serious laws----punish and deter environmental pollution makers----avoid serious pollution issues (这些通常都是个人和政府做不到的) E.G.-------put lots of environmental damagers into prison. 环保参与者思路汇总: 人:生活方式—environmentally friendly lifestyles---(garbage classification; transport ways/modes—taking public transportation, such as bus or subway instead of driving private cars; consume less meat; NEVER purchase unrecyclable products—throw-off cups &plastic bags) Call on friends and family members to plant a tree& clean up parks Press governments and companies—demonstrations 公司: 钱 allocate/devote much money to environment protection organizations 技术take advantage of bio-fuels, such as ethanol ;renewable energy sources like wind energy, solar energy and tide energy. cut emission of carbon dioxide,SO2;sulphur dioxide. Get rid of low-efficiency and high-energy consumption facilities. 压力 pressure---``````````````````` 政府: 威逼:enact a series of strict laws and regulations to control those misbehaviors of individuals and enterprises who damage environment and deter the potential environment contaminators 利诱 financial incentives; tax-free/zero-tax policies/preferential—encourage people and companies to do their parts to xxxx. 教育stage/launch campaigns in communities to impart how to protect environment to those who lack the knowledge and skills related to environment protection and to raise the public’s awareness of environment protection `````````````` Generally speaking, environmental pollution and protection issues are now not always strange to human beings regardless of age, gender and wealth. While a voice is now becoming increasingly prevalent: individuals themselves are capable of addressing environmental issues, its skeptics consider that it is also advisable for enterprises and authorities to tackle environmental problems. To my knowledge, definitely speaking, the latter consideration is quite acceptable, due to xxx and xxx.---64
Initially, as to those who advocate the latter standpoint, large amounts of money and technologies could be allocated to and spent on crucial fields by enterprises, if they participate in the course of environmental protection. Environmental protection is a serious issue and does need different parties’ help to be resolved. Corporations, domestic and overseas; large and small, are usually not lack of money or high-level technology. This could benefit the protection and improvement of environment. However, the above mentioned can hardly be achieved by individuals and governments. ---87
Moreover, if governments do environmental protection, a multitude of environmental issues could be prevented by a large margin. This is mainly attributed to the undeniable fact that only these authorities could enact and implement a series of strict laws and regulations to punish those who pollute our planet and deter those potential environment damagers. --53
However, some people insist that the public are able to solve environmental problems by themselves. Environmentally friendly lifestyles can be taken, so as to do protect environment. To be specific, they can take public transports like buses and subway increasingly rather than drive cars frequently. Also, they can call upon their family members and friends to plant trees and clean up parks in spare time. –65
Overall, despite the ground held by the opposite, I still reaffirm my attitude that apart from individuals, governments and firms are also supposed to do their parts to protect our environment. In the long run, only by doing so can our earth become more suitable for human beings to live.---50 ``````

It is widely acknowledged that road system is one of the most important infrastructures in our daily life. But in the meantime, who should pay the bill of maintaining the road systems has sparked a heated debate. Some people hold that governments should be financially responsible for maintaining road systems, while others argue that it is car users who should pay such money.
On one hand, the responsibility of governments is to serve people. Therefore, they should provide reliable infrastructures for citizens, and the maintenance of road systems is no exception. Furthermore, governments have the tax-funded financial resources; only it can take on the huge costs of maintaining the road systems. One example is that freeway systems are widely distributed all over the country. Numerous people and equipment are needed in order to maintain the normal function of it, which will produce a great amount of costs.----不知道你的例证实在说什么---是为了证明什么?没说明白吧?
On the other hand, the resources of governments are limited. If they spend too much money on maintaining road systems, they would reduce the funding for other social services. Nevertheless, it is car users who rely too much on the road system, which causes the damage to it. Therefore, to some extent they should take on the costs of maintaining road system.
As far as I am concerned, I think that both governments and car users should shoulder the main costs of maintaining roads. As a large proportion of government revenue comes from the taxes paid by citizens, the government should provide reliable infrastructures to taxpayers. Meanwhile, car users should also pay some money for it.As it not only can promote the maintenance of road systems, but also can reduce the burden of financial system.
点评:
【任务回应】6分标准中TR强调的是要扣题以及要论述的相对充分。你的论述还算是做到了,但例证那个地方写的不要。另外扣题没做到。你看最后一段,你的观点写的是什么?----应该是双方都应该付钱来维护道路吧?这点扣分很严重,其实你下次完全可以避免这种错误--所以,我只能给你打5分。 附加点评:在论述上能看出来你没有太多素材的积累---建议多背诵些素材--以至于等你碰到同类型的话题时候,有话说,并且能写到点儿上--以至于今后你能写的更充分点儿。
【衔接和连贯】6分强调段段句句之间的连词和连接词,还有代词。例如:第三段里的governments后面再出现,就可以用they,而不能是it。其他地方写的还算可以,但模板的味道太明显----建议多让老师给你打造个性化,属于你自己的写作框架。--这点我给你打6吧,其实在国内给考官的第一映像(模板的原因)只能给你5分。
【词汇运用】6分标准内要求----词汇档次(uncommon)和表达地道性要够。---你这点我只能给你打5分。为了能够更好的又保障,宝哥希望你以后能够多多积累一些固定短语【动宾结构或者系表结构,这样才好保障用的很native----】和同义词替换--比如governments=authorities=the administrators Car users== users of cars==users of vehicles= those who use cars 【语法范畴+精准度】6分的语法要求并不苛刻---大错误不要有12处以上就行;并且能有写简单句和复杂句的能力。其实复杂句你掌握4种从句就够了。
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你的问题不多,但还是希望建议你多多注意如上我给你指出的部分问题(时间太紧,宝哥每台给你指出太多问题)。好好努力,很快就能稳上6分。后期还是希望你能多多背诵话题分类后的母题思路意识流加它的动宾结构和系表结构的短语和表达,这样才能写的很native.

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